ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
