But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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