and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
