I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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