How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize