Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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