He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
