I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
