I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
