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I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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