I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
3pm strippers are depressing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize