...so i touched it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
