I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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