Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
