i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
