girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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