He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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