is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
