singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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