i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
