we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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