The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
