that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
