erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
