then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
