I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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