The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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