so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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