life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize