i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
