lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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