Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
