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Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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