Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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