Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
