he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
