we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
