Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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