She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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