I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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