have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
