the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
