We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
