dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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