You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
