Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
