"it" just moved
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
