you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
