he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
