he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
