I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
