just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
