Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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