Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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