i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
