hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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