Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize