my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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