I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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