You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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