How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
