Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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