this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
