I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
