so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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