I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
