oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
