We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
