PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
