people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
